Ode to Thanksgiving

As an American living in Scotland, I feel SO very disaffected that there is no observance of such a fabulous, salient day. Oh, sure. Instead, I’m writing a thesis and having nachos. BRITISH nachos. So with turkeys-a-gobblin’ in my head (as usual), I bring you the following:


O Woe! My beloved holiday:
Your British subjects are astray–
their loss if chosen to allay
such warmth and seasonal buffet.

My memories of childhood meals,
of stuffing bathed in orange peels
would always tempt my rousing squeals!
(quite reminiscent of gray seals)

To remember such colonial plight
and how they braved the chill frostbite;
agreeing the natives were alright,
ignored their red skins for one night.

And though they nearly killed them off
with fits of illness, clouds of cough
The Pilgrims surely paid it off
and made it better with rice pilaf.

How could one not deign remember
the special day in late November?
When every person was a member
of the rekindled colonial ember!

Yet there’s no observance ‘cross the sea
no knowledge of that history;
instead they bloat themselves with tea
and with selfishness, ignore my plea:

They’d better thank their lucky stars
for it was THEIR brash ancestors
that navigated foreign shores
to find a new life, sans bedsores.

But I remember, and I will
uphold the tenets of such skill.
Despite huge debt and biting chill,
I’m set to spread boundless goodwill!

I’ve gathered culinary spectra
of fish and chips and warm soda,
centered around a fried pizza–
a Yankee cornucopia.

I’ll sit and think on origins
of how our great country conquered sins
and how we really need Ingins
to save our pale and meager skins.

With belly full, and queasy now
(but satisfied that I did endow
a proper tribute to the plough
and usefulness of Yank know-how),

I’ll crawl in bed and think of home
where all my well-fed rel’tives roam
and tummy warm, despite its groans,
I’ll count up all my student loans.

My pride in America, I swore
would ensure my Holiday rancor
of such well-received Thanksgiving lore
that these goddamned Britons do ignore.

O, Woe! My beloved holiday
I do remember on this day!
Rest sure no one could take away
your meaty roast, or fruit puree…

2 Responses to “Ode to Thanksgiving”

  1. cygnoir Says:
    November 28th, 2003 at 8:24 am

    Wonderful!
    Although I prefer hearing it read … 🙂

  2. pingback_bot Says:
    November 25th, 2010 at 2:53 pm

    cheese danish and winter mist
    User <lj user="cygnoir"> referenced to your post from cheese danish and winter mist saying: […] — it’s delightful! See you Monday! [1] […]

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