Back in the Womb.

After a short-durationed flip-out session for the past few weeks, I finally feel more centered and content that I have in some time. I have no real evidence to support the reasons why, but I’m accepting it eagerly and with no complaints. Maybe I’m feeling a bit of my old self again – the person that I’ve been back home, that was so hidden amidst all of the new, discombobulating experiences of moving across the world and immersing myself into a strictly mental life routine. I think I forgot to feel, and to remember that I’m *so* very motivated by the act of feeling and taking stock of what’s really going in inside.

Or perhaps it was just because I got my box of teas and pipe tobaccos from home today. It was as if, upon first cracking the packing tape and smelling all the rich and comforting blossoms within, I also inhaled the stability and serenity that I’ve tried my very hardest to build for the past six or seven years. Sensory memory is so fucking powerful. Rooibos will forever remind me of cold, rainy nights wrangling sea lions and stepping carefully over elephant seal shit. The joy!

The act of letting go – and just existing inside and enjoying my visions, perceptions, and thoughts – is harder than it seems for me. But I remember how to do it, and it reminds me of where I’ve been and what I had to do to get there…and here. And it calms me, and lets me continue on with my work. And my growing.

TAURUS:
Tuesday, December 9

Important distinction check: Are you sticking with a setup (employment, emotional, living) because it functions, or because it functioned back in the day when you first signed on? The Sun, at odds with Jupiter, could be calling your bluff and asking you to actually make that break with the past that you’ve been contemplating.

This could be about so many things, and probably none of them. But that’s what a horoscope is supposed to be, right? A tool for reflection, to suss out a better understanding of yourself, and perhaps gain some insight into what makes you work more cleanly…and happily.

Finally, I’ve just now realized how achingly boring personal posting can be. And I’m truly sorry, but I’m too lazy to erase it. After all…”Submit” is just one button away!

17 Responses to “Back in the Womb.”

  1. avalokita Says:
    December 9th, 2003 at 4:07 pm

    I thought it was interesting.
    Nothing refreshes me like being outside smoking a cigarette with friends. Smoking by myself isn't nearly as much fun.
    I'm a taurus, and that horoscope really hit right on the mark, for things I've been thinking about lately…

  2. FunkyPlaid Says:
    December 9th, 2003 at 4:15 pm

    I'm a taurus, and that horoscope really hit right on the mark…
    See, I *knew* you were the perfect girl! 🙂
    So when's your day, Bully?
    You can subscribe to it yourself at http://www.swoon.com . Probably the most poignant and accurate 'scope I've ever seen.

  3. avalokita Says:
    December 9th, 2003 at 10:50 pm

    My b-day is May 3rd. 🙂

  4. FunkyPlaid Says:
    December 10th, 2003 at 1:44 pm

    I promise to remember if you do…

  5. avalokita Says:
    December 10th, 2003 at 4:46 pm

    I can't remember poop. >_< I don't want to make a promise I'm so likely to forget.</p>

  6. FunkyPlaid Says:
    December 10th, 2003 at 5:07 pm

    1) Please don't remember poop. It's not healthy to ruminate too long on such things.
    2) If you feel that you're going to forget my very special day, just get a little tattoo of it somewhere hidden and then I'll feel much better about myself. It's easy!
    3) Ignore these ridiculous suggestions, please.

  7. divineseduction Says:
    December 9th, 2003 at 4:12 pm

    I like hearing about this kind of stuff from you. 🙂

  8. FunkyPlaid Says:
    December 9th, 2003 at 4:16 pm

    Only 'cause you're a Bull, too.
    Look at this! It's the frickin' Taurus Jubilee!
    I love it…

  9. fragiletender Says:
    December 9th, 2003 at 5:23 pm

    Well the journals I chose to read are chosen precisely because they do deal in personal detail, but then I do also choose people I find interesting so I guess it's self-selecting in a way…

  10. dr_beep Says:
    December 9th, 2003 at 6:42 pm

    Taurus: (April. 20—May 20)
    Moist, healthy skin and attention from meteorologists are the perks of having a miniature storm cloud hover over your head all week.
    Of couse mine is;
    Cancer: (June 22—July 22)
    Watt was inspired to invent the steam engine by a kettle boiling over. What you'll invent after seeing a fat epileptic eat tacos may end life on Earth.
    So don't feel too bad you just get wet, I kill us all.

  11. FunkyPlaid Says:
    December 10th, 2003 at 1:46 pm

    Man, I miss you.
    🙂

  12. dr_beep Says:
    December 10th, 2003 at 2:24 pm

    Mutual my friend.
    Especially since I am embarking on some pretty major Mordheim scenery, that sense/memory thing you were talking about is kicking in full force!

  13. netherelia Says:
    December 10th, 2003 at 10:20 am

    TAURUS:
    Tuesday, December 9
    Important distinction check: Are you sticking with a setup (employment, emotional, living) because it functions, or because it functioned back in the day when you first signed on? The Sun, at odds with Jupiter, could be calling your bluff and asking you to actually make that break with the past that you’ve been contemplating.

    I am a Taurus too. And that was exactly my Tuesday. I´m stuck with emotional setup that doesn´t function, and for a very long time I´ve always referred to past and said to myself, it worked then, so if I try hard enough it will work in future too.
    When I read that from your journal, I realized it won´t work, not in any way, ever again, I must thank you for putting that text up. 🙂 I feel relieved.

  14. FunkyPlaid Says:
    December 10th, 2003 at 1:52 pm

    Wow.
    I'm pleased it helped you remember something that you already knew somewhere inside you. Try to keep in mind and believe that you're never "stuck" in a situation if there's still a way to pull yourself out of it, and make the adjustments to make your life happy, even in the most dismal of times. As hard as that can sometimes be.
    We know that the Past is not the Now, and that's a difficult one for us emotionally-overwhelmed and sensitive Taureans. But we have the strength to make the right choices at the right times. It sounds like this is one of those times for you, and I guarantee that you're not alone.
    I'm so excited with all the Bulls floating my way these days. Totally my favorite people. 🙂

  15. dr_beep Says:
    December 10th, 2003 at 2:38 pm

    Just keep a few crabs around to derail you, it builds character 🙂

  16. velvetdahlia Says:
    December 10th, 2003 at 4:46 pm

    Exactly. (Yo– secret crab claw-shake!)
    What's life without a few crustaceans clamped to your horned fringe?

  17. FunkyPlaid Says:
    December 10th, 2003 at 5:10 pm

    CALLING ALL TAUREANS!
    We are being infested by chitinous little emotional invalids!
    HELP!
    🙂

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