Tales from the Avenues.

A green and yellow, smiley face-covered key was pressed into my hot little hands just minutes after we signed the lease, and then three days early, we were allowed to frolic and jump up and down and play tag within the walls of our new place. For various reasons – not the least of which are the color of the exterior and the foreboding decor sure to be realized within the unloading of a storage space and the unpacking of a room – we’ve dubbed it Chateau Greyskull. We found this quite apropos, at least until something else grabs our fancy.

Please stifle the He-Man references at least until John Woo’s new film comes out. There’ll be no page-boy wigs around here unless evilfb is doing the wearin’.

House

There’s not a lot wrong with this place, which is why we so desperately wanted to get in there. The fortunes smiled upon us and many good people around the world cast their collective goodwill towards the San Francisco Bay Area to make it so, and it was so. And now it’s so fucking cool, we can hardly contain ourselves. But enough gushing, and on with the tour!

The architect who designed the Chateau during the 1930’s has no other homes along our stretch, the nearest other display of his work along 35th Ave., according to our landlords. angledge will be heading down to the archives to pull any info available on the house so we might know for sure. What is obvious is that it doesn’t fit in with the other designs on the street. There’s no Spanish-styled terra-cotta roofing, no washed stucco and pastel colors on the exterior. It feels much more like turn-of-the-century French or British middle-class home, and the cornices, flourettes, and leafing on the outside and throughout the interior propagates this feeling very sharply. After some good time in old Edinburgh, it’s nice to be somewhere with soul, and with style.

Hearth
This is the main living area in the front of the house, complete with a floor-to-ceiling picture window, brand new flue in the fireplace, and parquet hardwood floors.

FoyerView
The view from the front door, through the foyer down the main hall. The living room and dining rooms both have their entrances to the left.

DiningRoom
A foyer-view of the dining room, with doors to the kitchen and living room. The floors are in perfect condition and the cornice work is original and splendid.

DiningRoom2
Another shot of the dining area – my favorite room in the house because of its elegance and open feel. It even has a window to the open-air atrium in the center of the house. We’re going to build a henge there.

Yes, a henge.

Cornice
Close-up of the plaster cornice work found in all the upstairs rooms. The whole house has flourishes like these on the walls, panels in the front rooms, and partitioned panels on the doors.

Kitchen
A shot of the *massive* kitchen from the dining room doorway and breakfast area to the right. It’s got more space than we know what to do with, a double oven, gas range, and really, really terrible monkey-shit brown linoleum tiling. Any contractors out there?

Toast
Someone left some glasses behind, and we spent some time warming up for our first night after our good friend Booze arrives to visit.

Bathroom1
This is the upstairs bathroom, complete with a separate shower, ceramic basin, detached toilet, and extra entrance into angledge’s closet. Her room is beyond, a lovely shade of pale green, with her own private entrance to the side patio.

Bathroom2
evilfb basically has his own level downstairs, with entrance from the garage and the main stairway. His room is huge, with a carpeted walk-in closet and his own stylish bathroom. Love the archways all over the house.

Hallway
The main hallway linking the front of the house with the back bedrooms. There are doors galore, so finding the right one to pee in will be some work, especially after some drinks. I know we’ll figure it out…color coding or something.

Mine
This is a view to my office/studio from my bedroom. The office is built as an extension over part of the backyard, and it has tons of storage and two huge windows overlooking Sutro Tower. Oh, the curtains will be going far, far away.

Underwear
A present left in the drawers. Um, drawers left in the drawers. Not my size, so I’m a little miffed. Yellow in front, brown in back.

Arch
My favorite area of the house, from the dining room to the fireplace in the living room. The architectural elements and shapes are just lovely, and I can’t wait to get a roaring fire going right away. I’ve been waiting for a good fireplace for years, now.

Garage1
I’ve never owned my very own garage door-opener. There’s unbelievable amounts of storage down here, and room for two cars. The previous owners must have been handy-people, because every inch of the place is stuffed with cabinets, tool shelves, and pegboard. There’s also space for a washer/dryer and even a woodpile!

Garage2
More shelving in the garage. There’s actually room for an entire boxing gym down here, so you can bet we’ll be hanging a heavy bag as soon as I can afford one. Come on over and let your aggression out.

Graffiti
We knew we were home when we found Grampire scrawled on one of the supporting pillars in the garage. I wonder if the ol’ coot will pay us a visit in the night some time. Will he gum us to death?

HouseFaeries
And that’s the end of your tour; thank you for coming. We’re overjoyed and looking forward to getting the place habituated and comfy. Many gatherings to come, and of course we wish to make it as comfortable for our friends as for us, so please join us…the door is always open!*

*after a small Greyskull tax of .35¢/per person/per lb. after local regulatory excise as per San Francisco housing market norms after buy-Darren-a-new-G5-tax equal to but not exceeding the yearly revenues on your own damn paycheck thanks for reading come back soon!

96 Responses to “Tales from the Avenues.”

  1. diotina Says:
    November 29th, 2004 at 2:12 am

    Its beeootiful – and palatial! You must be so pleased to call it home – congratulations!

  2. FunkyPlaid Says:
    November 30th, 2004 at 4:59 pm

    SO pleased. It's been a while since I've really had a long-term place that feels like home. Thanks for your good wishes!

  3. psymbiotic Says:
    November 29th, 2004 at 2:13 am

    Awesome! I can't wait for the hosuewarming party. :>
    Egan >:>

  4. FunkyPlaid Says:
    November 30th, 2004 at 5:00 pm

    And some party it will be…

  5. mxhaunted Says:
    November 29th, 2004 at 2:23 am

    Ohhhhhhhhhhhh… nice. All you need now is a ghost. πŸ™‚

  6. FunkyPlaid Says:
    November 30th, 2004 at 5:01 pm

    Isn't that your job?
    I need a tall, thin gothy-type to run around the garage in a sheet. Pay is good, includes benefits and garment-bleaching.

  7. avalokita Says:
    November 29th, 2004 at 2:24 am

    It's beautiful!!! Even if it is named Chateau Greyskull. hah!

  8. FunkyPlaid Says:
    November 30th, 2004 at 5:05 pm

    Hey – it's temporary. What we'd *really* like to call it, nobody could pronounce.
    πŸ™‚

  9. rachel_eurydice Says:
    November 29th, 2004 at 2:27 am

    Wow…that is nice!
    The underwear….eek! That's terrifying.

  10. FunkyPlaid Says:
    November 30th, 2004 at 5:07 pm

    Yes, and that's the way life in this manse shall be, I fear. Light…and then dark. Bright…and then frighteningly uncomfortable.
    Wanna come over for a spell?
    πŸ™‚

  11. evils Says:
    November 29th, 2004 at 2:28 am

    *clinks champagne glass* Here's to you guys! πŸ˜€

  12. FunkyPlaid Says:
    November 30th, 2004 at 5:07 pm

    Cheers, Suzy. We'd love to see you in it someday soon…

  13. thistlelurid Says:
    November 29th, 2004 at 2:33 am

    Champagne glasses….undies….amazing built-ins and a darren sandwich…..
    what more could ya want from a morning post……?
    The place is absolutely stunning….STUNNING!
    Im most happy about the break-dance worthly flooring! >:*D
    ::so very happy for you::
    <small>(do we really have to do all the math before we're allowed inside?
    I'll be banished to the grounds forever)</small>

  14. FunkyPlaid Says:
    November 30th, 2004 at 5:20 pm

    A plethora of pernicious parcels. You should see what else was left behind. And all of it in my rooms.
    Baby, if you're gonna be break-dancing on the parquet, I'm snapping some *serious* photos.
    Thanks for you joy. Xo.

  15. thistlelurid Says:
    December 1st, 2004 at 4:03 am

    I am a west coast distributor of joy…..Im like a giant xmas elf! <img src="http://www.msmindy.com/rudolph/images/ch_hermey_tn.jpg"&gt; or not. :*P

  16. moks_socks Says:
    November 29th, 2004 at 2:39 am

    wow. what a stunning place – lucky lucky yous! πŸ˜€
    so happy for you!

  17. FunkyPlaid Says:
    November 30th, 2004 at 5:21 pm

    Thanks, N.
    We all feel really, really lucky.

  18. chaosvizier Says:
    November 29th, 2004 at 3:01 am

    Now that is an impressive house. I believe the word is "partylicious". So up next, you schedule a party. And then we show up and truly warm this home with love and spirits. Mostly spirits. Which we love.

  19. marasca Says:
    November 29th, 2004 at 3:29 am

    And in return for hosting us (or at least me, sometime) I'll find something good to do with that humongous kitchen and double oven. πŸ™‚

  20. FunkyPlaid Says:
    November 30th, 2004 at 5:23 pm

    Deal. We'll bring the meat.

  21. FunkyPlaid Says:
    November 30th, 2004 at 5:22 pm

    Lush.
    We're gonna hang you drunk off our front balcony. Our very own gargle-goyle.
    πŸ™‚

  22. buca Says:
    November 29th, 2004 at 3:03 am

    wow…
    thats pretty impressive…

  23. FunkyPlaid Says:
    November 30th, 2004 at 5:23 pm

    Surely this is enough to cement your plans to visit next year?
    πŸ˜‰

  24. fragiletender Says:
    November 29th, 2004 at 3:23 am

    Wow, that's a really stylish house – I love it.

  25. FunkyPlaid Says:
    November 30th, 2004 at 5:33 pm

    Thanks! We are totally thrilled to nab it. All three of us immediately knew which rooms we wanted. I wonder if we'll continue to be that easy on each other…
    πŸ™‚

  26. redshrike Says:
    November 29th, 2004 at 3:32 am

    beautiful! congratulations.

  27. FunkyPlaid Says:
    November 30th, 2004 at 5:25 pm

    Cheers! It's been so many years since I've seen you…do make sure you come on by when we advertise the Breaking-In of the castle.
    πŸ™‚

  28. grahamb Says:
    November 29th, 2004 at 3:34 am

    Very naice!

  29. FunkyPlaid Says:
    November 30th, 2004 at 5:33 pm

    Needs you in it.
    Sushi or no.

  30. cygnoir Says:
    November 29th, 2004 at 3:41 am

    Grats!
    It's even lovelier than you described, if that could be possible. I'm so happy for the three of you!

  31. FunkyPlaid Says:
    November 30th, 2004 at 5:34 pm

    Re: Grats!
    Just you wait, lady.
    There are fluted panels to lick.

  32. cygnoir Says:
    December 1st, 2004 at 1:14 am

    Re: Grats!
    I think I saw a website for fluted-panel-lickers once.
    Just once.
    No membership or anything.
    Really.
    Um.
    Hi!

  33. parnasus Says:
    November 29th, 2004 at 3:41 am

    Doing the happy dance o joy!
    Yay! yay! YAY!
    What a beautiful house. It really suits you well, it may have been built long ago, but it's been waiting for you to come home.
    Enjoy the moving and settling in.
    mmm, winter in front of a roaring fire πŸ™‚
    ~Janise

  34. FunkyPlaid Says:
    November 30th, 2004 at 5:35 pm

    Re: Doing the happy dance o joy!
    You are such a dear. What a lovely image, that roaring fire.
    Marshmallows…
    Burning dreadlocks…
    eep!

  35. dr_beep Says:
    November 29th, 2004 at 4:01 am

    Very nice!
    Frighteningly it looks a whole lot like the place my mom lived in the upper haight. Not quite the same but the decorations, fireplace, and garage are almost exactly the same. Good find!

  36. FunkyPlaid Says:
    November 30th, 2004 at 5:36 pm

    If I find your mom hanging around anywhere, I'll be sure to pass on your best.
    When we gonna get together?
    HUH?

  37. gingiber Says:
    November 29th, 2004 at 4:03 am

    wow huge-mugousnous. It looks amazing. So glad you got it.

  38. FunkyPlaid Says:
    November 30th, 2004 at 5:38 pm

    I love your lexicon, Lara. πŸ™‚
    It is indeed labyrinthine, and I could hardly think of better people to host than yourself and the anonymous one. Please say you'll consider coming out our way some day?

  39. gingiber Says:
    November 30th, 2004 at 6:31 pm

    I would love to. Thank you.
    We really need to start to save our pennies.

  40. purpledonna Says:
    November 29th, 2004 at 4:07 am

    It really is stunning! You have landed on your feet there laddie!
    x

  41. FunkyPlaid Says:
    November 30th, 2004 at 5:39 pm

    But my head is still in the clouds! Doesn't feel real yet…

  42. fraulein_doktor Says:
    November 29th, 2004 at 4:26 am

    Wow!!! It is *really* an incredibly beautiful house!!
    I'm so happy you got it, babe! πŸ™‚

  43. FunkyPlaid Says:
    November 30th, 2004 at 5:41 pm

    Thanks so much, A.
    I couldn't have imagined anywhere else. Sometimes it feels that all is right in the world. Juxtaposed with the horrors going on elsewhere, these things remind me just how utterly blessed we are to have such luxuries.

  44. ubernacht Says:
    November 29th, 2004 at 4:44 am

    wow…! I can't wait to see what you do with it! It looks too perfect for you! CONGRATZ!!

  45. FunkyPlaid Says:
    November 30th, 2004 at 5:42 pm

    Totally. It's going to take some serious time to get it the way we like, but it really will be a home and a place to spend good time. I'm totally thrilled that I'll have somewhere to paint after over a decade with nothing but the shop!

  46. bates_motel Says:
    November 29th, 2004 at 4:57 am

    Tell me when you get the ring build, I'll bring my gloves and help break it in. πŸ™‚

  47. FunkyPlaid Says:
    November 30th, 2004 at 5:43 pm

    You got it! I wasn't kidding about hanging bags in the cavernous garage. A ring, on the other hand…
    We'll wait until the estate on the beach is up for grabs.
    πŸ™‚

  48. aitkendrum Says:
    November 29th, 2004 at 5:09 am

    Cool
    Jealousy is a trait I rarely display
    Such that a green shade of light has sprung around the room…
    Very nice, now where's my He Man videos

  49. FunkyPlaid Says:
    November 30th, 2004 at 5:45 pm

    Re: Cool
    We're going to project a big-screen Skeletor in the entrance hall.
    That'll keep the chaff from darkening our doorsteps.
    πŸ™‚

  50. agntprovocateur Says:
    November 29th, 2004 at 5:30 am

    fabulous!
    when do WE move in? heh! though i have to say that the tighty whities' drawer needs to be fumigated!

  51. FunkyPlaid Says:
    November 30th, 2004 at 5:46 pm

    Re: fabulous!
    We?
    WEE?
    I've saved the drawers for you, dear. Starchy and crisp – just the way you like 'em!

  52. agntprovocateur Says:
    December 1st, 2004 at 1:45 pm

    Re: fabulous!
    ooooh i can't wait to see you model them!

  53. podle Says:
    November 29th, 2004 at 6:27 am

    Wow – its just wonderful. I'm so glad such deserving people got this lucky!
    I hate it when mean stupid people get cool stuff – so I consider this a triumph of good sense on the part of the universe at large.
    Um…or something.

  54. FunkyPlaid Says:
    November 30th, 2004 at 5:47 pm

    Heheh. You make me smile.
    Can't wait to have yourself and J over for a kind return of good libation and kitty hair ALL OVER YOUR NICE CLOTHING.
    πŸ™‚

  55. podle Says:
    December 1st, 2004 at 8:45 am

    Um….sorry about that – my guys are Olympic champion shedders. Although I do feel the need to point out that it isn't usually quite that bad. Jack and Igg were *completely* fascinated with you and kept looking for you for hours after you left. You cat hypnotizer you.

  56. FunkyPlaid Says:
    December 5th, 2004 at 3:35 am

    Ha! This makes me so happy!
    I'll tell you the secret: I demurely rolled around in badger glands right before I came over. Doesn't work on the girls, but it does work on the cats mighty well.
    πŸ™‚
    LOVE your cats, btw.

  57. kittynitro Says:
    November 29th, 2004 at 7:00 am

    Yay (except for the underpants)!
    Bewaaaaaare Grampire!

  58. FunkyPlaid Says:
    November 30th, 2004 at 5:47 pm

    Blah!
    Blah!
    Oof…my dentures!

  59. sleepycinderell Says:
    November 29th, 2004 at 7:33 am

    That is a gorgeous house. I hope you're housetrained.
    Damn, thats given me itchy housemoving feet again..
    xx

  60. FunkyPlaid Says:
    December 2nd, 2004 at 1:47 am

    Didn't you JUST move?
    Like, a few months ago? I remember the cake!
    πŸ™‚

  61. sleepycinderell Says:
    December 2nd, 2004 at 4:04 am

    I've been here 4 months and still haven't got my trees installed, grrr. Whats a room without a forest?
    I'm working on a journey round the country; slowly heading out of the city and to the hills, house by house..
    Cake! I had to make loads to empty the store cupboard. You were lucky to escape the country without being force fed triple choc truffle gateaux.
    xx

  62. _phobia Says:
    November 29th, 2004 at 7:47 am

    I went in and had a looksee last night, the place really is beautiful. Get used to me comin' over and visiting a lot! Hehehheh
    So when do the housewarming shenanigans commence?

  63. FunkyPlaid Says:
    December 2nd, 2004 at 1:48 am

    You saw 'em. But OH MY LORD there'll be more.
    Thanks for all your help the other day, B. It was really great to have you with us.
    πŸ™‚

  64. _phobia Says:
    December 2nd, 2004 at 1:39 pm

    No problem at all – I'm a little sore but it's all worth it for you and the Bob πŸ˜‰
    Boy that sounded bad.

  65. defenestr8r Says:
    November 29th, 2004 at 7:56 am

    outstanding!
    xo

  66. FunkyPlaid Says:
    December 2nd, 2004 at 1:48 am

    Gonna stay on your next visit to SF, then?

  67. defenestr8r Says:
    December 2nd, 2004 at 3:41 am

    we'll see about that. i seem to already be hurting various people's feelings by not staying with them. and i am so very comfortable at my usual abode there.
    at the very least, you will join me for a pint, right?

  68. FunkyPlaid Says:
    December 4th, 2004 at 6:20 pm

    You wouldn't be hurting nor not hurting my feelings wherever you decide to stay. But please know that you always have a place (now with luxuriousness!) should you ever need or want it.
    And yes, of course we'll be having a pint together…or six.
    πŸ™‚

  69. defenestr8r Says:
    December 5th, 2004 at 4:00 am

    you're too kind!
    will you be around the whole time i am there (12/30-1/10)? i'm planning some drinks at zeitgeist…

  70. FunkyPlaid Says:
    December 5th, 2004 at 4:02 am

    Yes, yes, and yes.
    πŸ™‚

  71. defenestr8r Says:
    December 5th, 2004 at 4:04 am

    excellent. watch for a post when it gets closer…

  72. divineseduction Says:
    November 29th, 2004 at 12:05 pm

    That. Is. Fantastic.
    Oh my goodness. That is the kind of house I drool over (oh so surprising we have similar tastes, I know). You are very, very lucky.
    You must continue to take pictures, since I probably won't be able to visit often. :/

  73. FunkyPlaid Says:
    December 2nd, 2004 at 1:50 am

    So glad you like it!
    There'll be plenty of pictures as things come together, but it's surely going to take some time to do so. Keep on the lookout!
    πŸ˜‰

  74. Anonymous Says:
    November 29th, 2004 at 3:58 pm

    Color coding won't work, you have to use string
    Yay!!! Hugs!! Ooh, I had friends years ago who lived in one of those places — the stall shower made you feel like The Mummy would walk out any minute, but the ceiling moldings were worth it. But yes, to find your way around in a circular-plan house, Ariadne had the correct method. Or paint arrows on the baseboards, maybe? Or just get hold of a Mucha print to hang on the bathroom door…oh wait, I'm dating myself. Congratulations on the new digs, and don't forget the pile of little towels by the front door — wouldn't want your guests to drool on those floors, would we?!
    πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚
    –kirsty

  75. FunkyPlaid Says:
    December 2nd, 2004 at 1:54 am

    Re: Color coding won't work, you have to use string
    I hear that drool (mixed with some nice orange oil) keeps old wooden floors looking shiny and new!
    Thanks for the good thoughts, Kirsty!

  76. seolta Says:
    November 29th, 2004 at 6:54 pm

    Wow! The gods are smiling on you guys. I want pictures of the first fire too πŸ™‚

  77. FunkyPlaid Says:
    December 2nd, 2004 at 1:53 am

    We found ourselves with no digital camera for the first fire, but we'll try to scan picture from the box cam that Ange had in her pack. Whisky, gargoyles, and FIRE. Good stuff, even amidst the crazymonkeynuttiness of unpacking and moving in. I mean, there're some SERIOUS piles of boxes in that there garage!

  78. fanboyextream Says:
    November 29th, 2004 at 7:27 pm

    Hmmm… looks promising (looks for place to crash on couch…)

  79. FunkyPlaid Says:
    December 2nd, 2004 at 1:55 am

    Oh, you got it, my man.
    Anytime.

  80. _j0k3r_ Says:
    November 29th, 2004 at 9:04 pm

    sweeeet, dude
    Love the house! how many damn rooms does that place have??!

  81. angledge Says:
    November 30th, 2004 at 2:40 am

    Re: sweeeet, dude
    *counting*
    Eleven?
    It's enormous, any way you count.

  82. _j0k3r_ Says:
    November 30th, 2004 at 7:38 pm

    Re: sweeeet, dude
    thats not a house, its a palace! (i think someone already said that…)

  83. FunkyPlaid Says:
    November 30th, 2004 at 5:49 pm

    Re: sweeeet, dude
    Exactly 837.
    And they're ALL rumpus rooms.
    Got any rumpus for us to borrow?

  84. _j0k3r_ Says:
    November 30th, 2004 at 7:40 pm

    Re: sweeeet, dude
    dunno about borrow, but ive got a bucket of ukrainian rumpus going cheap at the moment. Its trading at one bucket of rumpus for a cup of pigmy marmoset.

  85. alison_ella Says:
    November 29th, 2004 at 9:22 pm

    What a beautiful home, you are indeed a lucky man.
    XX

  86. FunkyPlaid Says:
    December 2nd, 2004 at 1:57 am

    We're all extremely lucky, and happy, and giddy.
    And after I bring you back from Edinburgh (after our much-talked-about marriage), you'll be comfortable and happy so you can pleasure me in various ways with little distress or frustration.
    *thinks about what he just said and runs away fast*

  87. alison_ella Says:
    December 2nd, 2004 at 9:28 pm

    Heehee, made me giggle, don't run away, how will I catch you??
    XX πŸ™‚

  88. larylich Says:
    November 30th, 2004 at 1:15 am

    Holy Moley! Fireplace, storage AND parking…. in SF?? Ok what's the catch? It doesn't have a roof? Built on top of a Indian burial mound?

  89. FunkyPlaid Says:
    December 2nd, 2004 at 1:59 am

    No roof, burial mound, AND it's already occupied by a covey of spittin' wildcats.
    We just tiptoe around, is all. And hang beef on the walls. That distracts them.

  90. larylich Says:
    December 2nd, 2004 at 8:59 am

    Beef is the "new" wall paper.
    Wow. Looks like you hit the holy trinity in the city! Congrats!

  91. fizrep Says:
    December 1st, 2004 at 2:50 am

    Wow, that house is AWESOME. Where is it located? How many arms and legs do you have to sell each month for rent??
    Did I mention it's loverly?

  92. FunkyPlaid Says:
    December 2nd, 2004 at 2:00 am

    Thanks! Glad you like it. It's out in the Sunset, but not so far as to be inconvenient.
    Rent is a bit high, but not at all for the current rental market, and especially not for what we're getting.

  93. ghostwriterxx Says:
    December 1st, 2004 at 6:53 am

    wow! congrats! Looks gawgus!

  94. FunkyPlaid Says:
    December 2nd, 2004 at 2:00 am

    Thankyouthankyou!
    Come on over!

  95. pdxmarine Says:
    December 1st, 2004 at 11:35 am

    Congrats on the new place!
    I am adding you to my friends list if you don't mind. I am one of Thistlelurid's friends and I agree with her when she said that I may find your journal intriguing.

  96. FunkyPlaid Says:
    December 2nd, 2004 at 2:04 am

    Re: Congrats on the new place!
    Hey, thanks for the kind words. I don't mind if you add me at all. Any fiend of Kat is a fiend of mine!
    I just took a read through your journal, as well, and will continue to do so…thanks honestly for your contribution and your sacrifices.

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