Parcels and Pieces.

I leaned some important things about life and death this weekend, things that reverberated soundly within me as we said goodbye to a dear woman who was greatly beloved by her friends and family. It was standing room only at the Columbarium, where my best friend’s mother was given an eternal niche beside the likes of those from all corners of the globe and every denomination imaginable. Shoulder-to-shoulder mourners is an excellent sign that the dearly departed was some person of good character, and Katy was certainly of this ilk. I wish I had known her better than I actually had, but the real impact for me was seeing the numbers of those forever touched by her life, and, of course, by her death.

Eulogies are often somber and mournful, but everything that this family creates has an atmosphere of celebration, and my silent goodbyes to Katy included heartfelt thanks for putting such a wonderful enclave of people into my life – her creation of rudysyntax and the folk he has introduced to me over the years have continually made me want to be a better person, and to live a better life. One never knows how someone touches others’ existences, or how many tangential generations their contact radiates upon, but I knew a long time ago that I would want to be remembered as a good force in this world, and good to the people with whom I come into contact. This passing is once again a reminder of this hope and of this yearning.

Katy was one such as this; a woman with great strength, courage, glamor, and kindness. E eulogized, quite wisely, that the only Satan that really exists is Cancer. It takes people for no reason at all, or for reasons to which we are not yet privy. There is no real prevention, and no real warning. It comes, and we are taken, no matter the strength, courage, glamor, or kindness. There is no justice, and there is no reason. It just happened – and from this is issued the conflict between accepting logic and suppressing emotion. I feel for the family, and will be there for them in any capacity that I may. We move on, and we now live life all the richer, and, for a while, with our eyes wide open.

Why for just a while? Too often we forget to live every day as if it were our last. We forget to grab on to every good thing and thank our lucky stars for what we have. We forget to tell our loved ones that we love them, and we maybe miss a last chance to forgive and just be good to each other. Death renders all this useless, and otiose. It must be a proactive in its inception, not reactive. And now I remember, and this is how I want to live my life, as much of a struggle as it sometimes is.

Perhaps the most enlightening words came from a gentleman who wisely advanced taking a moment to manufacture snapshots in one’s mind. Myself, I all too easily get wrapped up in the mighty third eye of the camera when it comes to people and places, and I miss out on the most important, most indelible pictures of all. There is no memory card more spacious, no film more finely printable. We all get relegated to snapshots, eventually. Here’s to the hopes that you and yours never fade.

If I could distill my own life into a few snapshots, what might they be?

Add your own if you like… stream-of-consciousness, fond memorial, or wildly interpretive.


16 Responses to “Parcels and Pieces.”

  1. woe_sis Says:
    April 3rd, 2005 at 4:43 pm

    i adore Tom Waits

  2. FunkyPlaid Says:
    April 5th, 2005 at 10:57 am

    Well, then; that makes two of us.

  3. thistlelurid Says:
    April 3rd, 2005 at 5:58 pm

    I very much needed to read this today…thank you d.
    Katy is alive on this page…through your heartfelt words……

    "I've seen things you people wouldn't believe … attack ships on fire
    off the shoulder of Orion … I watched C-beams glittering in the dark
    at Tannhauser Gate … All those moments will be lost … in time …
    like … tears … in rain."

    Katy has taken her snapshots with her, we all will….
    but your post reminds me to never let my shutter
    stop buzzin…….you would tell me if my lense cap is on, yes? :*)
    <img src=""&gt;

  4. FunkyPlaid Says:
    April 5th, 2005 at 10:59 am

    Your lens cap isn't even attached anymore, and that's entirely a good thing.

  5. tisme Says:
    April 3rd, 2005 at 6:05 pm

    Having similar experiences and thoughts at this time. You say it well.
    You should tell the stories behind the photos to me one day.

  6. FunkyPlaid Says:
    April 5th, 2005 at 11:11 am

    How much time have you got, dear? And how much of it are you willing to waste on fleshy tales of the mundane?

  7. tisme Says:
    April 9th, 2005 at 2:54 am

    I have, at the very least, as long as you are willing to put up with me sleeping on your couch whenever I arrive in Cal-ee-forn-ee-a. And fleshy tales are almost _always_ good, and a tale is only as mundane as the person who is telling it, so I think I'm fairly safe there.

  8. frootbetty Says:
    April 3rd, 2005 at 6:21 pm

    I don't remember the exact quote but the general gist of it was… That you can tell what kind of person you are and how well you are loved/respected by the type of people you hang out with.
    As your friend had many peeps at her wake (including you) i would assume that you ain't such a bad peep yerself.
    It's those people who bring out the best in us that are truly missed once they shuffle off.

  9. FunkyPlaid Says:
    April 5th, 2005 at 11:04 am

    …you can tell what kind of person you are and how well you are loved/respected by the type of people you hang out with.
    This is an ever-present maxim, and sometimes very accurate. People are simply inspiration or barricades. It's up to us with whom we fill up our lives.

  10. blu_matt Says:
    April 4th, 2005 at 1:45 am

    What an excellent way of revealing more of yourself (without getting arrested for [in]decent exposure)! Hearing the tales behind each of these facets would be a few hours well spent.
    Missing you dood…

  11. FunkyPlaid Says:
    April 5th, 2005 at 11:07 am

    Then tales we'll discuss. Might have to be in a while, but dammit, we've got more bouncing to do!

  12. fraulein_doktor Says:
    April 4th, 2005 at 2:32 am

    Miss you incredibly…send you love and hugs

  13. FunkyPlaid Says:
    April 5th, 2005 at 11:05 am

    Well-received, and thank you!

  14. agntprovocateur Says:
    April 4th, 2005 at 9:23 pm

    funny, i was just uploading a photo of you (it's actually a group shot) on my photo site when i decided to return to read this post.

  15. FunkyPlaid Says:
    April 5th, 2005 at 11:06 am

    Best give me some royalities, then, missus.
    Where's your picture site?

  16. agntprovocateur Says:
    April 5th, 2005 at 5:26 pm

    i'll email it to you. i kept trying to upload them and something went wrong. it's been going on for days. 🙁
    it's worked fine before. grrrr!

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