Posted by FunkyPlaid | Filed under Meta
Lots of thoughts coming to mind just now, and a great willingness to express them, either here or just internally, not knowing what the best forum is for each of them. Life is ebullient and radiant, but there is darkness creeping at the edges, manifesting in a slow smolder, like the cracking fire just beyond my peripheral vision. I look forward to more time to focus on these things, perhaps even before the New Year is upon us. I’ve got a premonition and an inkling that I should like to see more *me* in tiME, as terrible as that may sound and as black-hatted as that may make me. You understand; you’ve felt the same way. Some have made adjustments already, but I haven’t yet done so.
For now, though, the holiday has been a fine terminus for a whirlwind year of lessons and learning, productivity and progress. We ended this year at the store (though not yet ended) blisteringly ahead of expectations, and the good time spent in tender loving and seamless attention to my charge has paid off for now. Hopefully, it will continue to, but we know the formula, see. More ancillary projects have taken off, to be attended to and cultivated in the coming year; great optimism around these things and excitement for the future.
Tonight I am awash in Hellos and Goodbyes, struggling with transition and fulminating with anticipation, both at the same time – but aren’t we all? Though both of my yearly holiday routines were cancelled, many dear friends very kindly offered to take me in and refused to let me spend the day without family. Letters from afar, surprise phone calls from a colder place, and the most splendid, tasteful gifts make me once again realize that I have immortals as friends. Gorgeous olive-wood cheese tools, Riedel leaded-crystal burgundy glasses, and a fine selection of gourmet teas galore, I feel in the lap of luxury with a nip of Brogan 2004 and a slumbering cat eliciting my attention. He can wait, I’m here with you, now.
The Dream (American or otherwise) is to work hard in order to enjoy the breaths in-between, to relish the senses and foster beauty and comfort in life. As middle-classers, we have this ability and even this duty, to some extent. We’re lucky enough to have the option. I’ve done my part this year, and this is the fruit at the bottom of the glass. The best part is that there’s another bottle still on the shelf, labeled ‘2006’.
And so shall the sparrow herald the dawn.
8 Responses to “In-between the Breaths.”
December 26th, 2005 at 1:53 am
Thanks so much for your lovely card – it is up on our wall. And all best wishes for 2006, of course!
December 26th, 2005 at 11:54 pm
You're quite welcome. And thank you for the good wishes.
December 26th, 2005 at 8:21 am
I think the Dream is actually a bit broader in scope than that– to work hard in order to gain mastery. I mean mastery in all senses of the word, and financial and professional mastery not less than most, but what's talked about the least is mastery in force of character.
December 26th, 2005 at 11:57 pm
Don't know what your Dream is, but I was speaking of my own, broad and wide as anyone else's.
There is never mastery in mine, only focus on the moment and planning for the future, with a little bit of staring at the past to remind of us what is and what was important.
December 26th, 2005 at 10:24 am
Let's crack that new bottle and drink deeply from it, brother.
It's not going to last, and when it's gone it's gone forever… except for the memories we create while drinking from it.
December 26th, 2005 at 11:58 pm
Precisely our context for the other evening. We have much more to do.
December 26th, 2005 at 12:27 pm
I think of the end of the year as the landing in the tanbark after coming down the slide. Sometimes it's soft and you land on your feet. Sometimes you miscalculate and end up on your ass. Other times you took a more daring approach and ended up face first with scraped hands, and a mouth full of dirt. But regardless of the landing, you climb the ladder and get ready for your next trip.
Here's to smoother landings, or at least some better tasting dirt. 🙂
December 27th, 2005 at 12:00 am
Fuck man, if I ended up with a mouthful of bark, I'd kick the slide until it was scrap. No 'getting back on the horse' for this dejected playground-dweller. But that's just me. See a pattern?