Red, Red Roses.

Darling, darling ruadh seolta has died. It was a terrible death that no living thing should ever have to suffer. The fact that someone so beautiful, vibrant, and full of passion and life as Sarah was ripped from this world at 31 years of age proves that there is no Justice in this world; there is only living and dying, and the gorgeous, precious moments in between. We’re the lucky ones to have known her, to have laughed and cried with her – to have toasted with her.

It is important that we read her story and continue to love her from near and far. And now the toasting will be in her honor and her memory, for a long time to come.

Sarah1

”There is something utterly humbling about receiving tenderness from another human being. Those small gestures and touches that express something more than words can ever say. They are impossibly precious and I hoard them greedily. I wander among this hidden treasure trove often, caressing each item until they wear thin and out of memory. There is also something about certain people in our lives that cut to our quick. There are bonds that are somehow more primeval than others. Those people whom you meet and within moments you realise you have known them and loved them for all eternity. Who can put you at east just by their presence. These of course are the ones who wittingly or otherwise can hurt us the most. Yet I wouldn’t trade it and know that I am blessed to have more than one of these people in my life. I wonder if they fully realise how much I cherish them :)”

These are her own words, from her own journal.

Remember all that yabbering I was doing about living big and breathing deeply? I wasn’t fucking kidding – it’s time to do it. Because all the rest does not matter one bit. It could all be gone in a flash. Put down your bullshit and Love. This. Life.

Right Now.

What is the last thing you say to such a person, if anything at all? How helpless do we feel, thousands of miles away and without the ability to be in close contact? The last time I called and left a message, I knew it would be the last opportunity. Words are useless, words are weak, words are fucking nothing. But it was all I had, and I told her that she would *always* be remembered, that she would *forever* be in my mind and close to my heart. I told her that my love and passion for Scotland will *interminably* be connected to her and our many adventures together.

Always. Forever. Things that have no meaning in the short spark of a life and a death. But it’s what I would want to hear. Somehow, in the timeline of memory, we can attain a certain immortality if the story can be told for long enough. This is what we learn studying history. This is what we learn studying friendship.

Sarah2

Sarah3

Sarah4

”I wonder how that little mermaid ever bore her daily pain when she traded her tail, I could not.”

44 Responses to “Red, Red Roses.”

  1. viscera Says:
    January 12th, 2006 at 3:19 am

    I'm so, so sorry.

  2. explosive Says:
    January 12th, 2006 at 3:53 am

    I'm so very sorry.

  3. pvcvirus Says:
    January 12th, 2006 at 5:04 am

    *hugs*

  4. mxhaunted Says:
    January 12th, 2006 at 5:49 am

    It's all so very sad. And yes, there is no justice in the world.

  5. mxhaunted Says:
    January 12th, 2006 at 6:10 am

    http://pics.livejournal.com/mxhaunted/pic/0001wtwk/

  6. angledge Says:
    January 12th, 2006 at 6:20 am

    Thank you for posting this photo – <a href = "http://www.livejournal.com/users/angledge/120312.html&quot; rel="nofollow">that was a great day out!

  7. Anonymous Says:
    January 12th, 2006 at 7:30 am

    Even though I didn't know Sarah very well I am shocked by how affected I have been by the suddenness Sarah's end. Reading her LJ over the last year has made me feel I know her more than maybe I did.
    I am not sure if I should go to her funeral as I didn't really know her in RL all that well, but I would willingly go as your physical representative (FunkyPlaid and Angledge) if you think that would be appropriate.
    Mail me if you think this is a good idea and maybe we can sort out something to add to the memory book this short life so deserves.

  8. verdandiweaves Says:
    January 18th, 2006 at 12:10 pm

    We collected postcards of memories at her funeral. Eventually this will be available on line. Her sister Karen is designing it.

  9. angledge Says:
    January 12th, 2006 at 6:24 am

    One thing that relieves the ache of missing her is knowing that her friends remember her with so much love.

  10. noire_blanche Says:
    January 12th, 2006 at 7:10 am

    How very sad for such a precious being to pass away so very young.
    I am sorry for your loss. I hope you are ok, dear Darren.

  11. gingiber Says:
    January 12th, 2006 at 7:31 am

    OK I wasn't logged in – dumb me:
    Even though I didn't know Sarah very well I am shocked by how affected I have been by the suddenness Sarah's end. Reading her LJ over the last year has made me feel I know her more than maybe I did.
    I am not sure if I should go to her funeral as I didn't really know her in RL all that well, but I would willingly go as your physical representative (FunkyPlaid and Angledge) if you think that would be appropriate.
    Mail me if you think this is a good idea and maybe we can sort out something to add to the memory book this short life so deserves.

  12. angledge Says:
    January 12th, 2006 at 7:36 am

    Ah, there you are, anonymous commenter.
    If you feel moved to attend Sarah's funeral, by all means do so. She always welcomed new faces in her circle of friends, & she would be delighted to know that even those she didn't know well remember her.
    You don't have to go as a representative of anyone – go as your own self.

  13. gingiber Says:
    January 12th, 2006 at 7:52 am

    Re: Ah, there you are, anonymous commenter.
    Thank you. Yes you are right.

  14. verdandiweaves Says:
    January 15th, 2006 at 5:01 pm

    Re: Ah, there you are, anonymous commenter.
    Sarah would like standing room only at her service – come to this and the wake in the evening. You will be very welcome.

  15. gingiber Says:
    January 16th, 2006 at 3:15 am

    Re: Ah, there you are, anonymous commenter.
    Well she managed that. Standing room only in the capel was a great sight to see.

  16. gingiber Says:
    January 16th, 2006 at 5:18 am

    Re: Ah, there you are, anonymous commenter.
    Oh I forgot to say. I loved the reading you wrote for the funeral. It was beautiful.

  17. verdandiweaves Says:
    January 16th, 2006 at 10:53 am

    Re: Ah, there you are, anonymous commenter.
    thank you

  18. verdandiweaves Says:
    January 16th, 2006 at 10:53 am

    Re: Ah, there you are, anonymous commenter.
    Meant to add – hope to see you tonight. I was the one in the white suit at the funeral, but I'll be in jeans tonight, short, curly hair, and much like my icon

  19. FunkyPlaid Says:
    January 12th, 2006 at 10:13 am

    I also think it would be great for you to be there if you feel that you're able, though your offer on our behalf is very kind. Edinburgh as such a small community, and though you may not have known her closely, I feel like all the best people in the city were always within an arms reach – I always talked about you and Seth to her, our antics and adventures. It was only a matter of time before we all would have gotten together.

  20. avalokita Says:
    January 12th, 2006 at 8:45 am

    I'm so sorry.

  21. eskimolimon Says:
    January 12th, 2006 at 9:09 am

    Sorry to hear about your friend.

  22. podle Says:
    January 12th, 2006 at 9:32 am

    I am so so sorry Darren. Saying goodbye is the hardest thing of all.
    Much love,
    g

  23. calum Says:
    January 12th, 2006 at 10:01 am

    I dont know you, but.. thanks for writing this and sharing the pictures.
    Id like to keep a copy of the first one, if you dont mind. It's wonderfully Sarah.

  24. FunkyPlaid Says:
    January 12th, 2006 at 10:16 am

    I'd hope that you would take that picture, perhaps my very favorite of her. It was a really magical day when she showed me Rosslyn Glen, as if it were her own backyard.
    I also know she was close with you, and I send you my very heartfelt sympathies.

  25. calum Says:
    January 12th, 2006 at 10:24 am

    I remember showing her Rosslyn, in much the same way..
    Thank you.

  26. darkshifter Says:
    January 12th, 2006 at 10:42 am

    I'm sorry dude. Losing someone is always hard. But cherish the memories that you have of her, and she'll always be by your side.
    *hugs*

  27. kid_lit_fan Says:
    January 12th, 2006 at 11:29 am

    I didn't know her at all, and you've made me wish I did, and you've added me to those who mourn her passing and celebrate her life.
    Consider yourself tenderly hugged.

  28. FunkyPlaid Says:
    January 13th, 2006 at 12:30 am

    Very solidly pungent words. Thanks for this.

  29. dougygyro Says:
    January 12th, 2006 at 12:06 pm

    Even though I only was able to spend a very short time with her, I already miss her. She had such a glow about her, and she remembered me and Jon when we came over to Le Chateau for that night of drinking.
    She was an amazing woman. I regret I didn't have more time to get to know her.

  30. sibelian Says:
    January 12th, 2006 at 12:11 pm

    Yes.
    I met her perhaps 4 or 5 times (through you, intially) and that quote in italics seems to be exactly her.
    I'm so sorry.
    See you soon? We'd all love to see you…

  31. FunkyPlaid Says:
    January 13th, 2006 at 12:32 am

    Re: Yes.
    Yes, soon, Sandy. I'm thinking this fall, for certain. It'll be so nice.

  32. sharck Says:
    January 12th, 2006 at 1:15 pm

    You have our love and sympathy – (speaking for Team Tait)

  33. no_mans_land Says:
    January 12th, 2006 at 1:51 pm

    <small>what an extraordinarily beautiful person she is…you were lucky to have witnessed her glow. at least she seemed to have lived fully and passionately while she was here. that's more than many ever achieve.
    your eulogy is poignant. i will take your words with me to remind myself of the immediacy of life. remembering is the key.</small>

  34. FunkyPlaid Says:
    January 13th, 2006 at 12:35 am

    Remembering is always the key, especially through all the other stuff that life throws our way. I know you live this way, regardless.
    Did you receive my e-mail regarding the Ixmae project?

  35. no_mans_land Says:
    January 13th, 2006 at 3:16 am

    <small>no i did not. :/</small>

  36. scothen_krau Says:
    January 12th, 2006 at 3:47 pm

    I'm very sorry. Deepest sympathies.

  37. angledge Says:
    January 12th, 2006 at 5:05 pm

    Another photo for us.
    The fourth photo you posted made me think of this:
    <img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v301/angledge/040814_whisky_fringe_watercolor.jpg&quot; border = 1 width = 289 alt = "Delicate watercolor or butched bmp? You make the call.">

  38. thistlelurid Says:
    January 12th, 2006 at 7:32 pm

    oh d, you and your circle have had such an emotional
    year….I dont know what I could say to comfort you….
    that you havent already written in lovely and caring
    words in you beautiful post.
    Love. This. Life.

  39. FunkyPlaid Says:
    January 13th, 2006 at 12:48 am

    Thanks, Kat. We all go through this kind of thing…maybe not all at once, but it certainly happens – and will continue to happen. As with anything in life, it's about what lessons we can take away with us from the experience. I've learned a lot from Sarah, as I've learned from you. I'm pleased that we may continue to do this for untold years to come.

  40. Anonymous Says:
    January 14th, 2006 at 2:35 pm

    Oh, heavens… dear man, I'm so sorry to hear your friend has died — I was going to say, "you've lost…" but as you said, you will *not* lose her. I can only imagine your pain, and respect you very much for the fact that you're able to write this way, solacing yourself and others, in the midst of it. You have my deepest sympathy. I'm glad there are so many good memories and photos of this beautiful lady. I didn't know her at all, but even on a screen she is vibrant and warm.
    >I told her that she would *always* be remembered, that she would *forever* be >in my mind and close to my heart.
    Then she will live forever.
    Love, with caring thoughts,
    Kirsty

  41. verdandiweaves Says:
    January 15th, 2006 at 5:00 pm

    Your last phone message meant a great deal to her – I was with her when she heard it at the hospice and her face lit up. Sometimes words are all we have – and when they are spoken with love they mean a very great deal. Towards the end Sarah slept a great deal – I'm sure she dreamt of you – especially when she smiled in her sleep.

  42. FunkyPlaid Says:
    January 15th, 2006 at 7:55 pm

    Oh my god, Carol. This is so touching, and thank you for letting me know she heard that message. I'm sure you know inherently how much it means that those meek words were received, and understood.

  43. verdandiweaves Says:
    January 16th, 2006 at 10:55 am

    I don't think you should ever doubt that she loved you.

  44. calum Says:
    January 16th, 2006 at 12:16 am

    I thought I'd let you know, I used your image here. Thanks again.

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