Buoyancy.

I’ve a pervasive feeling of optimism today, always a welcome companion in the midst of a strange, meta-existential ambivalence about future, economy, politics, technology, and romance. In the whole of things, every aspect of life is simply gorgeous. This doesn’t preclude sweeping bouts of The Angst from pressurizing my ventricles on both sides at the most inopportune moments, however. I catch myself sighing quite a bit sometimes, perhaps an autonomic reminder to be here now, when all is well and delight is easily reachable. I’m a delight addict, though, and a thankfulness junkie, as well. These disorders, coupled with my Taurean task-orientation and self-imposed project inundation, make a fine brew of emotional prevarication. It’s been this way for years. Busy, happy, appreciative, and still always looking for fulfillment – but never feeling fulfilled. Try everything. Do something, more than one somethings. Stop being so serious already.

The optimism might have been brought on by this wonderful San Francisco day. A balmy sprummer has effused across the city, and as much as I like to think of myself as a dramatic weather whore, I can’t deny that the warmth makes my toes uncurl and my back muscles untense. I enjoyed being in the thick of the bustle today, running through the little rituals that bring comfort when I’m able to shut out stress and anxiety from the everyday grind: lunch with a book at my favorite crepery, grocery shopping, paying the bills. Feels good to take care of yourself, to find joy in the act of maintenance and upkeep. It might have been the day that brought me this optimism.

It might have been the first manual watering of the year, climbing up on plaster facade features to untangle lavender passion flower vines in the front of the house, blankets of California poppies thrusting forth from the carpet of weeds just below their heads on either side of the driveway. A visit to Trader Joe’s (The SnackWagon) is the perfect preparation for a small gathering of newer friends planned later in the evening. I’ve been taking extra time for friends lately. I don’t often feel I deserve the wonderful people in my life, but there’s no way in hell I overlook any aspect of their qualities or their beauty.

TrogiProfile

I love the cat. Never met an animal who was so head-forward. He spends most of his existence with his nose pressed firmly in my eye socket. His comfort, perhaps. Lately, he’s taken to perching on my right shoulder, like a monkey, when I’m trying to read. I should teach him to dance for pocket change. Portable organ be damned.


Dropped my PowerBook earlier in the week, which resulted in a severe loss of hinge. Before this year, I would have peed myself with mortification, but the great amount of money I’ve invested in the store means that the business was able to afford me a suitable replacement – a new MacBook Pro. The smell of Apple’s machinery makes me happy. It, also, makes me feel optimistic, and those first two weeks with a new computer is filled with getting-to-know-each-other tweaking and organizing. Spring cleaning on many levels – good-bye to files no longer needed, archiving of pictures and music and pornography still desired but not necessary for the day-to-day. I’ll be updating the desktop machine as soon as the new Intel towers are announced. Can’t happen a moment too soon, as the ol’ G4 only starts up once out of every ten attempts.

MacBookPro

Was a pleasure and a privilege to finally meet no_mans_land, on her whirlwind West Coast tour before heading back home to NYC. With enough conniving and convincing, it shouldn’t take too much more to ensure she migrates to the left in the near future. It’s obvious when someone is ready for big change, and, as we discussed on brief, chilly walks to and from the mighty Poleng, that itching sense of impending adaptation is filled with creativity and optimism. Anticipation of goodness and greatness is life’s tonic. An apéritif to the happenstance. Sarah has been gracing our Ixmae with some fabulous music suggestions, and she’s clearly bound for great things with her lexical perspicacity.

At a recent industry conference, I met with the country’s largest games distributor for a meal and a whine about certain terrible business practices. We’re fast becoming friends with their sales manager, who is a great personality and a font of wisdom, as well as a fine soundingboard and a cistern for our idealistic industry angst. As for geekery, everyone is currently hog wild for the new A&A War at Sea miniatures, with which we’re having a blast at the shop. Playing with toy boats is hard work, believe it or not, but we manage to keep up the enthusiasm with a complete factory set, gifted to us through Alliance. Much to their dismay, I took a sly opportunity to float the Scharnhorst in a Chevy’s margarita, thereby securing our ownership of the set. She still smells of passion-fruit.

WarAtSea

Also, coming in the near future for those who are interested, I’ve nabbed a store blog, where you can see a preview of our new logo and branding, masterfully rendered by Evan.

The new line-up of Dynamophone artists is terribly exciting. We’ll be updating the website in the next few days to announce some of the projects, but for now, there’s some good info on what’s been happening with us on the excellent Textura webzine, this month featuring a profile of the label and three reviews. Next up: a series of limited-edition, hand-made treats with exclusive music from Dynamophone artists and beyond. We call them Parcels.

Cantus

It was huddled around a dinner table filled with food that parts of my family gathered just the other day. We’re not good Jews. In fact, we’re simply hungry people who don’t have much in common with Jewry at all. Least of all, me. The new, modernized Haggadahs are getting plain stupid, as now the term ‘Lord’ is being eschewed in favor of ‘Hashem’, for the sake of non-formality and the refutation of gender ambiguity. I’m sure if there were a god, he (or she) would tell those fuckers to deal, yo. Doesn’t matter what you call me, dawgs, you’re still blowing your shit up in my name, and that’s DUMB. Regardless, the evening gave me an opportunity to spend time with my uncle, the real patriarch of the family since the grandfather has been gone. He assumes his position with kindness, generosity, and good humor, and I grow closer to him as the years roll on. He’s another man who has done a thousand things, all of them with no regrets. I can see a silent appreciation that my father has for him, the little brother to the big, much like the relationship between my own brother and me. In both situations, I think, there’s been too much discord and not enough fleeting time spent, both of these things giving way to the seasoned realization that the past is just the past. This is what the night afforded me. That, and the awesome opportunity to actually use the term ‘Matzo Nazi’ at the dinner table. Oh, the irony and the blasphemy.

WineEye

I’ve taken up enough of your time. I was overdue, but there’ll be more soon enough.

20 Responses to “Buoyancy.”

  1. elessa Says:
    April 3rd, 2007 at 9:11 pm

    sounds like life is very full for you.
    ouch on the powerbook. mine experienced a head crash on saturday. not in a position to replace with the mac book pro i would like, so applecare is replacing the HDD. i hope to have it back by next week. using a loaner machine at the moment.
    i really need to work towards the new mac book pro by the end of the year. i would keep the powerbook in reserve for travel as it is a twelve inch. thankfully i had bought an external drive a couple weeks ago and had backed up everything.
    interesting to hear talk of migration. i have a few friends, as well as myself, who have been struck by a desire to pick up roots and find a new part of the country to settle in.
    the weather here in LA has been divine for long walks in griffith park. i genuinely love spring. it is definitely a time for awakening. much time for introspection as i walk.

  2. FunkyPlaid Says:
    April 6th, 2007 at 12:04 am

    Sometimes, as much as we may try to fight it, giving in to AppleCare is the best thing for everyone involved.
    🙂

  3. dndupree Says:
    April 3rd, 2007 at 9:22 pm

    You my friend make me want to steal your vocabulary 🙂 As said before, a full life indeed but you make it sound fun and you seem to attack with both grace and energy. Awesome 🙂

  4. FunkyPlaid Says:
    April 6th, 2007 at 12:07 am

    If you steal my vocabulary, how will I formulate witty and biting words with which to berate you?
    Grace and energy – you're too kind! Really, it's called having eyes that are bigger than my mouth. Must…fit…everything in before it's…too late!

  5. dndupree Says:
    April 6th, 2007 at 7:38 am

    How about I borrow your words then? 🙂 Copy? Mimick???
    It's a good way to live, that's all I'm saying hehe 🙂

  6. no_mans_land Says:
    April 4th, 2007 at 12:43 am

    <small>it was wonderful to meet you ! i only wish we'd had more time. but relocation to the left is already in the works. still deciding exactly where to plant myself. we'll see… i have a feeling another trip to sf will take place in the not-too-distant future. poleng awaits !! *drool*
    we were quite the crew, the four of us, wee as we are. good times.</small>

  7. FunkyPlaid Says:
    April 6th, 2007 at 12:08 am

    All together, we just about make a complete person. 🙂

  8. hermiston Says:
    April 4th, 2007 at 4:44 am

    It's good to hear from you. It's good that you're feeling bouyant. You seem awake to big and little things in your experiences and you explain your optimism by them. Such alertness can be tiring too and perhaps this is why you catch yourself sighing. It's ironic that with such full days you still look for fulfillment. When you take so much from life's daily pleasures how can you be sure you don't actually have it?
    Your final picture is great.

  9. FunkyPlaid Says:
    April 6th, 2007 at 12:13 am

    You've nailed it, of course. I can't be sure, but I can sure explain it further, not too long from now, as we wind our way through lands that *do* make me feel fulfilled. Okay than, perhaps I'm simply a romantic – where the grass is always greener. That wouldn't be too far off the mark.
    Glad you like the picture. You were missed that night, but we're preparing some special meals for you later in the year. You won't regret them!

  10. scothen_krau Says:
    April 4th, 2007 at 10:54 am

    kratkrat and I once encountered a fortune-telling cat in Santa Monica. He wore a turbin, sat on a silk pillow, nd when prompted by his human "assistant", he would pull a tiny scroll from a bowl stuffed with tiny scrolls, and hand it to you in his paws.
    my fortune said that I would one day meet the woman of my dreams on an ocean cruise – and to avoid catnip.

  11. FunkyPlaid Says:
    April 6th, 2007 at 12:13 am

    You are *so* making this shit up. 🙂

  12. handworn Says:
    April 4th, 2007 at 11:02 am

    in the midst of a strange, meta-existential ambivalence about future, economy, politics, technology, and romance
    Sounds as though you're a philosopher. Not so?

  13. FunkyPlaid Says:
    April 6th, 2007 at 12:15 am

    Honestly, it's much more accurate to note that I'm an anxiousopher. Some people ponder. I worry.
    😉

  14. handworn Says:
    April 6th, 2007 at 9:10 am

    * grins, tips his hat to you *

  15. angledge Says:
    April 4th, 2007 at 6:06 pm

    I love that photo of you. It's good to see your face.

  16. FunkyPlaid Says:
    April 6th, 2007 at 12:15 am

    Hi Ang! This face misses yours tons.

  17. kittynitro Says:
    April 5th, 2007 at 9:57 am

    I can just see the little Torgus in a wee fez, dancing for spare change. Make it happen! You won't regret it. More importantly: neither will I.
    The parcels are beautiful. I can't wait to see them close-up and hear the sweet Dynamophone nectar.

  18. FunkyPlaid Says:
    April 6th, 2007 at 12:23 am

    A Torgs-sized fez would totally kick ass. I shall look into this.
    Thank you for your kind words about the new stuff. I'll bring a sample over next time we coagulate, which, I believe, is this Sunday. Doctor's orders…

  19. Anonymous Says:
    April 6th, 2007 at 9:36 am

    If you're talking about my doc, please ignore him. He's on crack. We're away on family duties for Easter. And, um, in the thick of moving. It would be just like him to schedule social things during our move. Just like me scheduling a crazy busy work week during our move. Oops.

  20. ohjolielaide Says:
    April 16th, 2007 at 12:52 pm

    Also– this is me now. Hi!

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